THE SHIT LISTGHOST SHIT: That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the toilet.

CLEAN SHIT: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET SHIT: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.

SECOND WAVE SHIT: It happens when you're done shitting. You've pulled your pants up to your knees, and then you realize that you have to shit some more.

BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT,

orPOP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT: The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT: The kind of shit where you shit so much you lose 30 pounds.

CORN SHIT: Self explanatory.

LINCOLN LOG SHIT: The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it up into a few dozen chunks.

"Gee, I Wish I Could Shit" SHIT: It's the kind where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.

BLOODY SHIT: Self explanatory.

SPINAL TAP SHIT: That's the kind that hurts so much coming out that you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS SHIT, orPOWER DUMP: That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

LIQUID SHIT: The kind where a yellowish-brown fluid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time chronically burning your anus.

MEXICAN FOOD SHIT: in a class all its own.