Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Mypenis:

 - Mypenis ate my homework.

- Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!

- Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.

 - I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.

 - Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.

 - Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.

 - I love giving Mypenis a bath. - At night, I sleep with Mypenis is my hands.

- Mypenis likes it when people pet him.

- Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.

- Playing with Mypenis really wears me out. - Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?

 - Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.

 - I think Mypenis has a mind of its own. - I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.

- Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.

 - I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.

- Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.

 - If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.

- Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys. - Help! I can't find Mypenis!

 - Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.

 - Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.